Nah, this post is not about the review of the TV Show “13 Reasons
Why”.
There was a lot of hype in the last few weeks for “13
Reasons Why”. Although I had exams, I couldn’t contain my curiosity to start a
new series any longer(2 more exams left, easy ones, so excuse me). So, I too
joined with them to know what it’s all about. Yes, I knew the show was about a
girl who committed suicide. But, I didn’t expect the screenplay to be that way.
Mind-blowing. It’s like re-defining the “hunting game” we all played (or still
play) during our childhood, but only this time it’s about hunting for the
truth. The truth about Hannah’s suicide. Why? Why did she do what she did?
This show has taken over a special place in my heart. Many
have said that this show is boring, slow, and depressing. I didn’t find it that
way. As I like to read books, a person narrating about their story with their
point of view is totally interesting to me. It’s like reading a book about
someone’s personal life and that is narrated by the same person we’re reading
about.
If we are playing a game called “Tell the antonyms of this
or that”, I would probably say “13 Reasons Why” is a total opposite of "Easy A" movie.
Just my observation.
Well, the reason why this show has a special place in my
heart is because, I had suicide tendencies too. If you follow my blog
regularly, you would have read my Suicide Letter by now. Another reason
is, a boy in my University recently committed suicide. I don’t know him
personally. I didn’t even know a person like that existed in our University
until he committed suicide.
Well, I will tell an even more depressing fact than the
boy’s suicide in few minutes if you keep reading.
We planned for a farewell party the next day and we were
busy decorating the room with all the ribbons, balloons, and posters. The whole
day was so beautiful and fun, everyone co-ordinating to do something special
for our seniors. And then suddenly, one of our classmates barges in and tells
that “some” guy committed suicide. We were like, whaaaaa…t? I couldn’t believe
what I heard and I was 98% sure that it could be a rumour. How could such a fun
day suddenly turn into a gloomy day? Nah, that’s impossible. It must be a rumour.
But, no. It wasn’t. He really committed suicide and no one
has any clue why he did what he did.
There we are, putting up posters which says “Let’s party!”
and all of a sudden we hear the “suicide” news. See the irony that life brings
you? Well, it was clear that day. Life is full of unexpected ironies like that.
You never know when a storm will hit you when you’re quietly enjoying the wind
in your hair.
I and one of my classmates have decided to stop the
decorations and head back to our hostel since it was pretty late by then. On
the way, we still couldn’t believe that the news was true and so we stopped a
group of girls, who are practically strangers to us, to know if it was really true.
And yes, they confirmed and it sent chills down my spine, to know that a guy
ACTUALLY committed suicide when I just had suicide tendencies not more than a
year ago.
Nope, I still haven’t come to the worst part yet.
So, me and my classmate were walking back, talking about why
and how he could do it when he is in his full 20’s? How would his parents feel
about this when they are like 1,8971 Kms away? How would their classmates feel like
when they see an empty seat tomorrow in the class? How would their friends feel
when they eat in the canteen and he is not with them and not going to be with
them forever?
When you think about it, it’s going to affect every single
person he ever had any contact with.
So, we reached our rooms and I got freshened up. I was
pretty hungry by then so I came to mess to have some food. I was visibly very
very sad. Everyone could tell that and everyone was asking if I was okay or
not. And one of my other classmates asked too. Let’s call her “A”. This was the
conversation between us:
A: Hey!
Me: Heyy…
A: Are you okay? You look so sad!
Me: Yeah, I am, you know, the suicide…
(she walks off giving some kind of expression meaning that
she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore)
*She invites me to her table after few minutes, and I go*
A: So, you okay now?
Me: I am. I will be.
A: You know… we actually should form a group and go and talk
to Vice Chancellor if they decide to postpone our exams due to this suicide. And, what about tomorrow's party?
*I was literally yelling at her in my mind. WHY THE HELL ARE
YOU THINKING ABOUT EXAMS, NOW? WHO EVEN TALKED ABOUT POSTPONING EXAMS? AND, PARTY!!?? ARE YOU SERIOUS? OF
COURSE, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN CONCERNS BUT GIVE IT A DAY AT LEAST! A BOY JUST COMMITTED SUICIDE FFS!*
But actually, I just asked: Doesn’t this affect you in any
way?
A: No. Why should it? Who is he to me? (and she shrugs her
shoulders) *with an expression so convoluted as if I asked the most stupidest
question ever*
--
Nope. I’m not exaggerating and I’m not even paraphrasing our
conversation. I could still hear this conversation ringing in my ears whenever
I think about it as clear as the day.
And, that’s it. I lost it. How can a suicide not affect you? How
can a whole person who has vanished from earth, not affect you? How can you NOT
think about others who could over-hear you is probably his classmate? You have
walked the same roads he has walked before, you are going to eat in the same
canteen he ate all these days. How can that not be profound enough for you?
Could you at least have some respect for the dead?
Ugh!
The disgust I had for her that day is, I can’t even put it
in words. All I could say is, whenever I see her from that day on, my whole
body, literally hates her. Not just my mind, EVERY organ in my body HATES her
for the words uttered by her.
So yeah, that’s the worst thing I ever heard in my whole
life. That is why, I could connect to “13 Reasons Why” more than anyone could.
Oh btw, I am just 3 episodes in to this show when I wrote this.
