Why 13 Reasons Why?

Nah, this post is not about the review of the TV Show “13 Reasons Why”.

There was a lot of hype in the last few weeks for “13 Reasons Why”. Although I had exams, I couldn’t contain my curiosity to start a new series any longer(2 more exams left, easy ones, so excuse me). So, I too joined with them to know what it’s all about. Yes, I knew the show was about a girl who committed suicide. But, I didn’t expect the screenplay to be that way. Mind-blowing. It’s like re-defining the “hunting game” we all played (or still play) during our childhood, but only this time it’s about hunting for the truth. The truth about Hannah’s suicide. Why? Why did she do what she did?

This show has taken over a special place in my heart. Many have said that this show is boring, slow, and depressing. I didn’t find it that way. As I like to read books, a person narrating about their story with their point of view is totally interesting to me. It’s like reading a book about someone’s personal life and that is narrated by the same person we’re reading about.

If we are playing a game called “Tell the antonyms of this or that”, I would probably say “13 Reasons Why” is a total opposite of "Easy A" movie. Just my observation.

Well, the reason why this show has a special place in my heart is because, I had suicide tendencies too. If you follow my blog regularly, you would have read my Suicide Letter by now. Another reason is, a boy in my University recently committed suicide. I don’t know him personally. I didn’t even know a person like that existed in our University until he committed suicide.

Well, I will tell an even more depressing fact than the boy’s suicide in few minutes if you keep reading.

We planned for a farewell party the next day and we were busy decorating the room with all the ribbons, balloons, and posters. The whole day was so beautiful and fun, everyone co-ordinating to do something special for our seniors. And then suddenly, one of our classmates barges in and tells that “some” guy committed suicide. We were like, whaaaaa…t? I couldn’t believe what I heard and I was 98% sure that it could be a rumour. How could such a fun day suddenly turn into a gloomy day? Nah, that’s impossible. It must be a rumour.

But, no. It wasn’t. He really committed suicide and no one has any clue why he did what he did.

There we are, putting up posters which says “Let’s party!” and all of a sudden we hear the “suicide” news. See the irony that life brings you? Well, it was clear that day. Life is full of unexpected ironies like that. You never know when a storm will hit you when you’re quietly enjoying the wind in your hair.

I and one of my classmates have decided to stop the decorations and head back to our hostel since it was pretty late by then. On the way, we still couldn’t believe that the news was true and so we stopped a group of girls, who are practically strangers to us, to know if it was really true. And yes, they confirmed and it sent chills down my spine, to know that a guy ACTUALLY committed suicide when I just had suicide tendencies not more than a year ago.

Nope, I still haven’t come to the worst part yet.

So, me and my classmate were walking back, talking about why and how he could do it when he is in his full 20’s? How would his parents feel about this when they are like 1,8971 Kms away? How would their classmates feel like when they see an empty seat tomorrow in the class? How would their friends feel when they eat in the canteen and he is not with them and not going to be with them forever?

When you think about it, it’s going to affect every single person he ever had any contact with.

So, we reached our rooms and I got freshened up. I was pretty hungry by then so I came to mess to have some food. I was visibly very very sad. Everyone could tell that and everyone was asking if I was okay or not. And one of my other classmates asked too. Let’s call her “A”. This was the conversation between us:

A: Hey!

Me: Heyy…

A: Are you okay? You look so sad!

Me: Yeah, I am, you know, the suicide…

(she walks off giving some kind of expression meaning that she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore)

*She invites me to her table after few minutes, and I go*

A: So, you okay now?

Me: I am. I will be.

A: You know… we actually should form a group and go and talk to Vice Chancellor if they decide to postpone our exams due to this suicide. And, what about tomorrow's party?

*I was literally yelling at her in my mind. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT EXAMS, NOW? WHO EVEN TALKED ABOUT POSTPONING EXAMS? AND, PARTY!!?? ARE YOU SERIOUS? OF COURSE, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN CONCERNS BUT GIVE IT A DAY AT LEAST! A BOY JUST COMMITTED SUICIDE FFS!*

But actually, I just asked: Doesn’t this affect you in any way?

A: No. Why should it? Who is he to me? (and she shrugs her shoulders) *with an expression so convoluted as if I asked the most stupidest question ever*

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Nope. I’m not exaggerating and I’m not even paraphrasing our conversation. I could still hear this conversation ringing in my ears whenever I think about it as clear as the day.

And, that’s it. I lost it. How can a suicide not affect you? How can a whole person who has vanished from earth, not affect you? How can you NOT think about others who could over-hear you is probably his classmate? You have walked the same roads he has walked before, you are going to eat in the same canteen he ate all these days. How can that not be profound enough for you? Could you at least have some respect for the dead?

Ugh!

The disgust I had for her that day is, I can’t even put it in words. All I could say is, whenever I see her from that day on, my whole body, literally hates her. Not just my mind, EVERY organ in my body HATES her for the words uttered by her.

So yeah, that’s the worst thing I ever heard in my whole life. That is why, I could connect to “13 Reasons Why” more than anyone could.

Oh btw, I am just 3 episodes in to this show when I wrote this.

Norwegian Wood - Review

Where do I start talking about this beautiful gossamer novel? I feel so tiny to describe something so amazing which has happened to me in these few days. Murakami sure knows how to twist and turn those emotions which you chose to ignore and bury deep down in your heart. This book will amplify your hazy memories of teenage. Your love. Your crush. Those deep questions you asked yourself when you were in your teens: ‘What is going to happen to me in the future?’ ‘What is life and death?’ ‘Why does everyone seem like knowing what they are going to do with their life but I feel like I know shit!?’

Norwegian Wood made me feel nostalgic. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy, but most of the time I felt good just lingering with my memories; they felt like the dew drops on a freshly cut grass in my backyard after a drizzle of rain.

One more important thing was that I didn’t just connect to the protagonist, but I could connect with every character in this book. May be not wholly, but at least in pieces. Get what I mean? Yeah. By the time I got accustomed to the characters, and started enjoying the background described in the book, I felt an intense desire to make friendship with these characters in the book. Those limpid souls just struck the right chord in my heart and I don’t want them to stop playing that soft music which started soothing my heart. I didn’t want to stop reading it.

I wish the book never ended. That is the problem with good books. When you finish, you feel like you’re reborn and never want to turn your head from that phase of life. You wish life stopped then and there.

“You make it obvious you don’t care whether people like you or not. That makes some people angry.”

Not only that you connect to this on a spiritual level, you can even relate these characters with the people from your life. And, I’ve a friend who is just like the quote I mentioned above from the book.

I wish I were a character in this book. It contains characters which have beautifully twisted minds and hearts you'll ever come across. Don't miss it.

My Muse - Pain

Do you know that statistically, there are many poems based on revealing the emotion ‘sadness’ rather than ‘happiness’ and, we connect to those sad emotions instantly when compared to other emotions? Why? I don’t have an answer. What I feel is that it is a universal emotion, feeling sad, to which everyone can connect despite race and religion.

I used to have a blog before I started this new blog. You can find that many posts which I have written are to console myself through words. Every time I read the comments under such sad posts I find people saying ‘That’s true, I too feel the same’. I have given it a thought and came to a conclusion that sadness, melancholy, heart-breaks, and etcetera similar emotions can be a muse to bring out the writer or a poet in you rather than the happy and synonymous emotions. Again, why?

I think it’s because we’d rather enjoy the emotional state of being happy than wasting our time to sit and write a poem or blogpost on it. Isn’t it true?

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I guess, you all have seen the movie ‘Rockstar’ in which Ranbir Kapoor and Nargis Fakhri play the lead roles. Ranbir is so passionate about music that he tries every possible way to become a Rockstar. One day, a canteen owner gives him an advice that a great melody comes out of a trauma or a heartbreak. When he finally falls in love with Nargis Fakhri, she gets married to another guy and departs to Prague. Now, Ranbir gets into a feud with his family and is thrown out of his own home.

He lives in a Dargah for his foreseeable future and that’s where he starts singing songs out of pain and loss of his love and family.

He also becomes a real Rockstar, singing out of pain and loss, after he loses love of his life Nargis Fakhri to a disease called Bone Marrow Aplasia.

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Not just fictitiously, but there are many who became famous out of their pain, like Van Gogh, Frida Kahlo et al.

Do you think Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet would be such a huge hit even after centuries if it had a happy ending? I don’t think so.

When we open a newspaper, we rush to read news about disasters, wars, and evil things first. And, read the joyous news later, if any.

Can pain be related to our psychological state too which can bring out our creative side?

Many of my friends fear that when they are happy for too long, that something bad is soon going to happen in their lives. They are like more open to pain and can resist the good as naturally as possible.

So now, don’t you think pain can be the only greatest muse to bring out an artist in someone? Can we categorize pain as a beautiful feeling? But, isn’t that anything which makes a human emotional state weak is bad?

Tell me about your muse, your inspiration that moved you so much so that you started doing something which you usually wouldn’t have started if it’s not because of that.

So, yeah. This blogpost got selected for WOW! :)

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.