Another Morning!

This is a follow-up post of this.

Most girls of my age face this question:

“What kind of qualities a guy must possess to be your life partner?”

Isn’t that a difficult question when you think it over seriously, I mean very seriously. When I was taking a walk early this morning, I saw an elderly couple chatting and laughing over something funny. Isn’t that cute?

I guess the answer to that question lies in the above lines. Don’t we all want that partner with which we can laugh and act as crazily as we wish to? Don’t we all want that person who chooses to spend time with us in a park, walking and laughing over silly things, rather than just sticking to the couch all day in front of that big fat TV? 

Don’t we?

PS: I don't take credits for the pic used here.

That Morning!

Me and my friend, we both have decided to wake up early and have a morning walk every day so that we don’t get lazy all day. In that attempt, we would at least study for a while since our exams are frightening us to death.

So, today was the first day and I couldn’t wait anymore to share what happened to me during that walk.

Well to start with, I regret.. not having morning walks all these months. Winter is such a beautiful season to have a walk and am so blessed to hear the birds chirping and singing for me during the dawn! I have never imagined that I would see beautiful parrots in the park eating bread crumbs as their breakfast. Little squirrels jumping here and there all over the park. You wouldn’t believe that it made a burrow to keep itself warm during winters! How cute that was! Yeah, I’m more than excited cuz that’s the first time I saw a burrow and it is cute for me! I even saw an eagle trying to make a nest. It always carries two sticks and accidentally slips one stick on its way to make a nest. There was a feud between the mamma eagle and the pappa eagle! Aww! Also, the Mynah birds! They have cute yellow beaks :D and obviously Pigeons outnumber every other creature in the park! Not to forget the playful dogs who are trying to enter into the park but few uncles didn’t allow them cuz they were street dogs. But, I got to see them playing and rolling on the dew filled grass which was so fun to them!

Ahh! The nature is really really beautiful during mornings.

This is the burrow I was talking about.

One shouldn’t miss such beauty due to their laziness. Go on and enjoy that beauty which nature offers us and it’s lying there for you to discover any minute you are ready. :)

Six Word Saturday

Physics – TV Series – Movies – Walks – Food – Repeat

I have few exams to clear in order to pursue my Masters in Physics. So, believe me I have a mountain of syllabus to cover by February. I hope I complete that as soon as possible. xFingers Crossedx

When I get bored of my studies, I watch TV series. I have completed Sherlock Holmes, eagerly waiting for the next season. Now, I have taken interest in Breaking Bad and Fargo. They’re so darn good that I can’t stop with just one episode. I have done a night out to finish Fargo in one go! Well, that rhymed.

Other than TV Series, I’m up to date with movies too :D Well, who wouldn’t love movies during breaks? And, I’m such a movie buff!

During this winter season, nothing can beat an evening walk with a friend! I love the park which is very close to my hostel, reminds me of my childhood days when I used to go with my dad. Taking a little time out of your life and spending that to yourself without the phone buzzing around you is the best gift you can give to yourself.

Well, what can I say about Delhi’s street food? Yummm! As a foodie, I can assure you that when you visit Delhi if you miss out on trying the various street foods, you haven’t really saw the true side of Delhi. It’s a must.

I think, my next week would be pretty much the same or at least until my exams wind up.

Have a good weekend my pretty readers!

My Muse - Pain

Do you know that statistically, there are many poems based on revealing the emotion ‘sadness’ rather than ‘happiness’ and, we connect to those sad emotions instantly when compared to other emotions? Why? I don’t have an answer. What I feel is that it is a universal emotion, feeling sad, to which everyone can connect despite race and religion.

I used to have a blog before I started this new blog. You can find that many posts which I have written are to console myself through words. Every time I read the comments under such sad posts I find people saying ‘That’s true, I too feel the same’. I have given it a thought and came to a conclusion that sadness, melancholy, heart-breaks, and etcetera similar emotions can be a muse to bring out the writer or a poet in you rather than the happy and synonymous emotions. Again, why?

I think it’s because we’d rather enjoy the emotional state of being happy than wasting our time to sit and write a poem or blogpost on it. Isn’t it true?

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I guess, you all have seen the movie ‘Rockstar’ in which Ranbir Kapoor and Nargis Fakhri play the lead roles. Ranbir is so passionate about music that he tries every possible way to become a Rockstar. One day, a canteen owner gives him an advice that a great melody comes out of a trauma or a heartbreak. When he finally falls in love with Nargis Fakhri, she gets married to another guy and departs to Prague. Now, Ranbir gets into a feud with his family and is thrown out of his own home.

He lives in a Dargah for his foreseeable future and that’s where he starts singing songs out of pain and loss of his love and family.

He also becomes a real Rockstar, singing out of pain and loss, after he loses love of his life Nargis Fakhri to a disease called Bone Marrow Aplasia.

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Not just fictitiously, but there are many who became famous out of their pain, like Van Gogh, Frida Kahlo et al.

Do you think Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet would be such a huge hit even after centuries if it had a happy ending? I don’t think so.

When we open a newspaper, we rush to read news about disasters, wars, and evil things first. And, read the joyous news later, if any.

Can pain be related to our psychological state too which can bring out our creative side?

Many of my friends fear that when they are happy for too long, that something bad is soon going to happen in their lives. They are like more open to pain and can resist the good as naturally as possible.

So now, don’t you think pain can be the only greatest muse to bring out an artist in someone? Can we categorize pain as a beautiful feeling? But, isn’t that anything which makes a human emotional state weak is bad?

Tell me about your muse, your inspiration that moved you so much so that you started doing something which you usually wouldn’t have started if it’s not because of that.

So, yeah. This blogpost got selected for WOW! :)

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Friends

As I already told in my earlier post that I have very few friends since childhood because of my gloomy nature. Introvert and reserved. Some people say that they are reserved at first but become friendly later when they get used to that person. I’m nothing like that. When I say I am reserved, I mean it. I might put you in the category of my best friends and still not talk anything with you for days and weeks. Don’t ask me why? I’m just so.

Do you think anyone can hang around a girl who doesn’t talk like other girls, and keeps on running the marathon of being silent for days and weeks? I guess, no. That’s why I end up having very few friends with whom I can talk or not talk any day I wish.

It was a challenge to me regarding this ‘friendship’ when I came to Delhi. I don’t know anyone here. I’m such a complete stranger to this city! But, the first day I entered in to the class, I met this girl who is from Rajasthan and she kept on blabbering till our lecturer came. So, I took the advantage of the situation and asked her notes to complete the previous lectures. That way, I became ‘friends’ with her. I asked her about the book shops from where I can buy, she didn’t just give me the directions but accompanied me to that book store the next day. Such a sweet girl.

I’m sure, I cannot be that way to a complete stranger in a strange city. I thought I should learn being selfless from her. She even introduced me to Delhi’s street food, by god, I have fallen in love with the city just because of that!

But after few days, she stopped coming to classes and was very irregular because of her health problems and homesickness. I visited her room and used to exchange notes and everything. I was left alone again in the class without having anyone to talk to.

Then, I started sitting in the same bench with the same people every day so that I can start talking or they can start talking if it is a similar face. That way I made friends with two Kerala girls, a Delhi girl who is really close to me, and two UP girls. Now, I can’t step out of my room to have some fun without at least one of these girls as my company.

Actually, I’m that girl who prefers guy friends over girl friends on any given day cuz ‘less drama’, right? So, I used to rarely hangout with my girlfriends when I was in Hyderabad. Now, since I made friends (which was a nearly impossible task of my life) with these girls I feel so blessed.

I guess, my days in Delhi have taught me good things more than these 20 years of my life.

The day I had a drink!

Fast forwarding a month or two since the first day in Delhi. This is what happened on that day.

I planned to meet my friend early in the morning, like at 5. We had a nice dinner the previous day. We planned everything for the next day. To wake up at 5 and start at that time to reach Agra. For what? Obvious. Taj Mahal, you see.

Well, NOTHING went according to our pre-plan. I slept very late, put an alarm (actually alarms knowing that I am such a lazy lass!) from 3 to 4 am thinking that I would wake up at some point of time. I absolutely don’t know when this sleepy Satan got into me, but I slept like without even budging a little to all those alarms!

Finally, I woke up at 7 am, hurriedly of course, searching for my phone. I know there should be missed calls. And there are like 20+ calls! I called to my friend and apologized a lot! We still felt that we need to go somewhere and spend the rest of the day. So, we went to see Red Fort. It’s nothing much to talk about, except for the museum. I’ve always loved museums! I spent like 1 whole hour just to read all the history below the pictures they hang it in there. Don't even ask about that 'minars' in that Fort. I was so suffocated in that crowd that I just went right in and came right out without even turning my head to see what's in that place. 

Delhi=crowd!

After coming out from the fort, we were pretty hungry and looking for a nice place to eat. But, couldn’t find any good restaurant or hotel in such a place. So, I asked let’s go somewhere else. My friend suggested that we should go to Connaught Place. The famous Connaught Place, Rajiv Chowk, Palika Bazaar. You know them right? Only in Delhi you find one place called by three different names.

So, we were searching for a restaurant to have some food. We went into the first restaurant we saw on our way cuz I was pretty hungry and didn’t mind ANY restaurant at that point. After I entered, I felt that restaurant was pretty dark for a ‘restaurant’. So, the waiter brought this menu card which contains only drinks. Then, I came to know that we were in a bar cum restaurant. :D

That was my first time, so yay! I was very cynical about drinking outside but my friend was all hyped up by that time, so I had to give a thumbs up. We ordered a beer and got one more free beer with it (lucky). Don’t ask me what’s the brand? I can’t remember the name.

Believe me, I had one full beer yet I didn’t feel like what they say that could happen if you drink a beer for the first time. Everything was SO darn normal I got frustrated! I mean, what’s the point of drinking then? I hated the bitter taste that a beer carries. I really really hated it. But, I enjoyed the feeling that it was my first time having a beer with a good company. Later my friend told me, that I was saying really funny things when I had that beer. I have never imagined myself to like alcohol cuz people become so nasty and talk such shit while they’re drunk. But, I guess I wasn’t like that. I was funny (taking my friend’s word for granted). So, drinking got the best out of me, I guess. I can’t say if I will ever get addicted to it. But, I’m sure I’ll never skip the chance of having a beer or whiskey or whatever if I’m offered (so, don’t hesitate to offer me drinks, kay?).

One hell of a day!

Clouds and everything!

First day in Delhi -

In fact that’s the first time I travelled in a flight. You know that childish like excitement when a middle class family boards a flight for the first time? Or, just exploring the airport for the first time? Well, I never felt that excitement in me. It’s as if am pre-occupied or something, I never bothered to think about my first flight experience. It also has got something to do with my dad, because that’s also the first time I’m going to some far away city without my mom. Me and my dad, don’t talk about ‘first time experiences’ you see. So, the excitement naturally didn’t sprout in me.

But, what I liked the most about the whole travel is, Clouds. I can’t stop taking pictures of clouds (and I got a window seat, imagine!). How beautiful it was to be above clouds, near clouds, in clouds. Wow. Also, why is a Samosa 100 rupees in flight? Damn.

There you go! Few pics of clouds, and the sky! Beautiful, just beautiful!

When I de-boarded it, we went straight to our Institute’s head office in Jia Serai. First impression of Delhi? It’s just like Hyderabad but everyone talks Hindi. Of course, few are rude. But, who is not in such big cities?

In the institute’s head office, that clerk girls informed me that their Institute’s other branch in GTB Nagar is the one which I have to visit and attend classes. I asked her, how do we reach to that place? She gave me directions to go to nearby metro station and board the Metro which goes through GTB Nagar. That’s the first time I saw the token given in Metro Station.

Here comes the deal. That’s the first time I ever saw a Metro. First time to walk in a sub way. First 

time to see such a big crowd! (I was under an illusion that there would be no bigger crowds as there are in Hyderabad, but I was proved wrong in a nano-second.) First time, I tried to make a conversation using Hindi (yeah, I’m Hyderabadi yet I donno Hindi, big deal). I don’t even know on which platform I should stand (oh don’t even ask what about my dad?). So, I finally boarded the one where I saw that GTB Nagar on the map they provide. I was very nervous until I de-boarded that cuz I am the one to blame if I get off at a wrong station. But, phew! Everything went well.

Such a nervous travel from Jia Serai to GTB Nagar, I would never forget that in my life.

So, we carried all that luggage which weighed nearly 10-13 kilos to the other branch of my Institute. 

Everything went accordingly. Now, it’s the time to find a hostel and join the same day.

Again carrying that heavy luggage with us, with the help of our Institute’s boy, we found a hostel which also has single rooms. I have totally fallen in love with that room in the first look. You just get connected to things at the first look sometimes, isn’t it true? I forced my dad to agree for that room, and he was so sceptical about it cuz, you know, its DELHI. Always in the news for famous ‘rape scenes’. But, he somehow nodded his head after 3-4 hours of sitting and talking with his friends. Everything went well except that I didn’t had any breakfast or lunch the whole day. Thanks to my mom who feeds me every day, otherwise I would have fainted by then.

So, after being sure about my room, I told my hostel warden to make the room ready so that I can shift the same day. Meanwhile, I was resting in another hostel of theirs where I had my lunch at 5 in the evening. I slept for a while until I was awaken by a lady. At that point, I met a girl who is also from Hyderabad.

Oh my happiness knows no bounds at that point! A telugu talking girl!? She is the sweetest girl I’ve come across in Delhi. She helped me with all the things which I have to buy during hostel-stay. She invited me for her birthday party along with her friends (I was totally shy and couldn’t make a conversation with anyone except one girl). We shared our numbers. She accompanied me to a beauty parlour (I was seriously in need of that). She used to help me whenever I bluntly ask for a help. Couldn’t ask for more in a new city where I don’t know the primary language that fluently.

All these things happened on Day 1 in Delhi. Eventually, I fell in love with the city for it offered me freedom more than anything.

I slept that day with excitement, nervous about the next coming days, in a city where no one knows my name, and being thankful for the nice things happened.

Why everything changed in Delhi?

To begin with, I’m the only child in my family. No siblings, nothing. I don’t even talk to my cousins, a lot. Yes, the usual question: Don’t you get bored? I’m born and brought up that way, so, I still don’t get your question? As a kid, like any other kid, I used to have a lot of friends and they used to come to my home and play with me cuz I own variety of play things compared to them. I was a very naughty kid that my mom used to lock me up in the house while she went off to wash clothes and utensils. And, I complain that every day to my dad thinking that he is the saviour of my prison life. But, no. Even he knows that am devil-child.

That impacted me a lot. In a way.

I used to shout “I don’t find any happiness in this house”. May be, TV Serials effect? Or Films effect? I don’t know why I used to say, but I know that I repeated the same sentence, god knows how many times. As I grew, I started thinking that my naughtiness is causing a lot of trouble to people around me. So, I stopped being naughty and chose to be this boring person. A kid without a smile on her face. How boring it would be? Imagine. Not a nice picture, right? So, yeah. I’m that kid now. I stopped making friends with kids who are naughty. So, I ended up with not more than 1 or 2 kids. My parents were glad that am changing but didn’t recognize that I’m becoming more of a depressed kid. But, I never expressed my depression, cuz, no trouble to others because of me. Don’t mistake it for maturity, no it’s not. That’s how I always think. About others. Not me, but others.

Till my 6^th grade, my parents didn’t bother to check my report card, cuz they know that I do well. And, my dad was so indifferent to marks that he didn’t even bother to look at the marks and just sign the report card whenever I ask him to sign. I used to be so proud of them cuz they don’t compel me to study and get high marks like other kid’s parents do. I used to be the first or second or third rank student every time in the school. That’s how I’m popular, as a good student, not because of my naughtiness.

I don’t know what devil got into my dad after my 6^th class, but we changed town and shifted to another town where there is this central syllabus school. Kendriya Vidyalaya. When I first visited that school to give my entrance exam, I wasn’t sure whether I liked that school or not cuz I’m sure that I’m going to miss my old friends (there were no phones at that time, and parents didn’t allow kids to even think about using phones). I liked the exterior and interior of the building cuz it was pretty neat, and they have way bigger computer lab than the previous one, they have this little garden where no kid is allowed to step into it, and A LOT OF STAIRS. I gave my entrance exam, and, obviously I topped that one. So, I was immediately enrolled in that school.

Life in that school has changed me completely. I will come to it later in another blog post.

So, after 7^th class, when a girl actually BECOMES a girl, my parents told me to ask my “boy-friends” to not to come to my house any more. Yeah, before that they used to allow them into my room and play that monopoly, sometimes games on computer, sometimes Mario and Duck Shooting on TV. I started having fun in that new house of ours, in a new town, with new school friends. But, everything suddenly changed when I BECAME a girl.

Why? Why shouldn’t boys come to my room anymore? Why shouldn’t they play those harmless games with me? Why shouldn’t I share my food with them? Why I shouldn’t be seen with them on roads anymore?

I was restricted. I felt like, my freedom was snatched from me forcefully at that age.

It impacted me a lot. I have started talking less and less. Everything changed that year. My dad suddenly took interest in my report cards. He used to question me why I didn’t get 90 when I got 89 marks. Why I don’t study 24 hours like other kids. Why I watch television after 7pm. Why he looks at me as if am the reason for fights between my mom and dad. My mom stopped pampering me. The number of kisses on my face decreased day after day. I felt like everyone is taking me for granted. There were so many ‘Why’s?’

But, there is also another question.

Is it only me? Or any other girl/boy faces the same problem? But, may be in a different way? Did they have more freedom than me?

It is always about others for me. Not about me, but others.

So, when I came to Delhi, everything changed. There is freedom here.

My heartfelt thanks to this city for showing me the freedom I’ve lost as a kid.

Why Unpublished ?

I’ve been wanting to rant a lot since few days. Why? I don’t have an exact answer. May be, I just miss writing stuff about my personal life and I can’t remember the exact reason why I stopped blogging. It has got something to do with my “inspiration” to put down the words on paper (or blog).

So, when I started writing this post, there are just TOO MANY things in my brain flashing in like 0.000001 seconds and disappearing at the same time. So, don’t blame me if one para has nothing to do with another para. I’m just ranting here.

I used to have an old Blog (click on it if you’re interested to know more about me). There is just too much sad and immature (according to me) stuff in that. I don’t feel like deleting it, cuz, someday obviously am gonna look back and have that stupid smile on my face which is worth it. I also don’t feel like posting my rantings in that blog for it reminds me of some painful stuff. So, here I am! With a brand new blog!

Why Unpublished?

Obvious reason. These writings/rantings are never going to get published in any newspaper or anywhere else for that matter. The other reason, people say I write very well (not me, they say, I promise!) but my parents don’t know that I write such stuff straight outta my heart. Not just my parents, whoever is connected with my family doesn’t know that I have this thing in me. They also think that am plain boring, dad's lil' girl, and etcetra stuff. So, that’s another reason for choosing the title as ‘unpublished’. My writings are unknown both publicly and privately. Except you, my reader, thanks for taking the pain of going through my rantings!

There are many things to log and rant about my present life. I hope I am regular to this blog! See you soon.