Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Why everything changed in Delhi?

To begin with, I’m the only child in my family. No siblings, nothing. I don’t even talk to my cousins, a lot. Yes, the usual question: Don’t you get bored? I’m born and brought up that way, so, I still don’t get your question? As a kid, like any other kid, I used to have a lot of friends and they used to come to my home and play with me cuz I own variety of play things compared to them. I was a very naughty kid that my mom used to lock me up in the house while she went off to wash clothes and utensils. And, I complain that every day to my dad thinking that he is the saviour of my prison life. But, no. Even he knows that am devil-child.

That impacted me a lot. In a way.

I used to shout “I don’t find any happiness in this house”. May be, TV Serials effect? Or Films effect? I don’t know why I used to say, but I know that I repeated the same sentence, god knows how many times. As I grew, I started thinking that my naughtiness is causing a lot of trouble to people around me. So, I stopped being naughty and chose to be this boring person. A kid without a smile on her face. How boring it would be? Imagine. Not a nice picture, right? So, yeah. I’m that kid now. I stopped making friends with kids who are naughty. So, I ended up with not more than 1 or 2 kids. My parents were glad that am changing but didn’t recognize that I’m becoming more of a depressed kid. But, I never expressed my depression, cuz, no trouble to others because of me. Don’t mistake it for maturity, no it’s not. That’s how I always think. About others. Not me, but others.

Till my 6th grade, my parents didn’t bother to check my report card, cuz they know that I do well. And, my dad was so indifferent to marks that he didn’t even bother to look at the marks and just sign the report card whenever I ask him to sign. I used to be so proud of them cuz they don’t compel me to study and get high marks like other kid’s parents do. I used to be the first or second or third rank student every time in the school. That’s how I’m popular, as a good student, not because of my naughtiness.

I don’t know what devil got into my dad after my 6th class, but we changed town and shifted to another town where there is this central syllabus school. Kendriya Vidyalaya. When I first visited that school to give my entrance exam, I wasn’t sure whether I liked that school or not cuz I’m sure that I’m going to miss my old friends (there were no phones at that time, and parents didn’t allow kids to even think about using phones). I liked the exterior and interior of the building cuz it was pretty neat, and they have way bigger computer lab than the previous one, they have this little garden where no kid is allowed to step into it, and A LOT OF STAIRS. I gave my entrance exam, and, obviously I topped that one. So, I was immediately enrolled in that school.

Life in that school has changed me completely. I will come to it later in another blog post.
So, after 7th class, when a girl actually BECOMES a girl, my parents told me to ask my “boy-friends” to not to come to my house any more. Yeah, before that they used to allow them into my room and play that monopoly, sometimes games on computer, sometimes Mario and Duck Shooting on TV. I started having fun in that new house of ours, in a new town, with new school friends. But, everything suddenly changed when I BECAME a girl.

Why? Why shouldn’t boys come to my room anymore? Why shouldn’t they play those harmless games with me? Why shouldn’t I share my food with them? Why I shouldn’t be seen with them on roads anymore?

I was restricted. I felt like, my freedom was snatched from me forcefully at that age.

It impacted me a lot. I have started talking less and less. Everything changed that year. My dad suddenly took interest in my report cards. He used to question me why I didn’t get 90 when I got 89 marks. Why I don’t study 24 hours like other kids. Why I watch television after 7pm. Why he looks at me as if am the reason for fights between my mom and dad. My mom stopped pampering me. The number of kisses on my face decreased day after day. I felt like everyone is taking me for granted. There were so many ‘Why’s?’

But, there is also another question.

Is it only me? Or any other girl/boy faces the same problem? But, may be in a different way? Did they have more freedom than me?

It is always about others for me. Not about me, but others.

So, when I came to Delhi, everything changed. There is freedom here.


My heartfelt thanks to this city for showing me the freedom I’ve lost as a kid.

1 comment:

  1. Again.. I read a few things I could relate to. Happens to all single kids. For me even while going to my friends bday party. My dad used to accompany n wait downstairs.
    Now in than a month I'll leave my city for my first job. Excited.

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